With all the anti-gay bullshit that's been going on this week, my friends and I have been having a pretty tough time. I know I for one was in a bad, bad place on Friday (honestly, someone was watching out for me, because if my roommate wasn't home when I got home I don't know if I'd be here). I realized I would never be accepted. I would never be loved. I would always, always have to defend who I am.
Today I came over to my friend's house to take care of him (soup and tea for the win!) and we were talking about family, and being gay, and he burst into tears (his account of what was said is here).
I just held him and cried; what else could I do? If I had any of these answers I would be at peace with myself. I've never accepted this world, with all the hate that happens every day. 'That doesn't have to be my world,' I'd say...but the more I see it, there more I realize it is my world. I can't get away from it, no matter how hard I try. And I can try and be strong and get through it, but it's not just me that it's affecting.
It's my best friends. It's me. We're all breaking down, we're all crying. We're all hurt. There is so much hate in this world and so little love. Even if we find each other and find acceptance, we still won't be able to go home to our families for holidays (Christmas has always been one of my favorite times, and for my mum too), if we can go home at all.
So I guess what I want you to get from this....is that I love you. And I love you- for who you are, not the idea of you or what I think you could be. And I hope that you can love, too.
Today I came over to my friend's house to take care of him (soup and tea for the win!) and we were talking about family, and being gay, and he burst into tears (his account of what was said is here).
I just held him and cried; what else could I do? If I had any of these answers I would be at peace with myself. I've never accepted this world, with all the hate that happens every day. 'That doesn't have to be my world,' I'd say...but the more I see it, there more I realize it is my world. I can't get away from it, no matter how hard I try. And I can try and be strong and get through it, but it's not just me that it's affecting.
It's my best friends. It's me. We're all breaking down, we're all crying. We're all hurt. There is so much hate in this world and so little love. Even if we find each other and find acceptance, we still won't be able to go home to our families for holidays (Christmas has always been one of my favorite times, and for my mum too), if we can go home at all.
So I guess what I want you to get from this....is that I love you. And I love you- for who you are, not the idea of you or what I think you could be. And I hope that you can love, too.
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